Thursday, March 11, 2010

What kind of Discipline..

"Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. He needs guidance. If there is love, there is no such thing as being too tough with a child. A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself. If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent"

  As a new mother I am trying to learn ways to discipline Kerhia to raise her into a nice young lady with great manners. We are learning the methods that work and don't work. One thing that I have realized as a parent is that you have to be open to new ideas. I always find myself reading other mom blogs to see what they do in a situation and how it works out for them. I love to read books on how to raise children and ones that others mothers write just about there everyday life. It makes my life seem normal!
  A big question recently came up with my discipline. Kerhia is going through the wonderful stage of hitting people. I will give you a little background on Kerhia's personality. She is very outgoing, doesn't seem to ever meet a stranger, loves attention and will do everything it seems to push your buttons. One thing that I have started to learn with Kerhia is that time out does not work yet, yelling doesn't phase her and light spanking will grab her attention for me to get her to listen to me. She was playing at the hot dog "MOV's kids playground" and she loves the frog they have there. Well another little girl came up and touched the frog. Kerhia then decided to smack the girl as hard as she could to get her to not touch the frog. I picked her right up and she went into a tantrum and wouldn't focus her attention to me. So then I gave her bottom a little tap just enough to let her know I was serious I needed her to listen to me. Well another mother had the nerve to mumble "She wouldn't hit if she wasn't hit at home!" She is lucky that I just walked away I could have shared some unfriendly comments on that one! I do see her point that it maybe confusing her a little but what do you do when that is the only way to grab your daughter's attention? I can't have her hitting other children or me!
  I would never ever spank my kid where there was a mark. I think that is excessive and should not be done. I don't think that a child should be spanked so they feel pain or have fear. I think it should be controlled to a point of them knowing you are serious. All I am wanting to do is raise a well mannered christain child.
Obviously, the mother who said something to me does not have well mannered children because just her statement to shows the lack of respect.

1 comment:

  1. Oh girl, bless your heart. You were supposed to get a longer honeymoon period than this. I had a very similar situation with Chloe the other day and had the same sort of comment made to me. If I had been somewhere else, I could have chosen a different route. But, I was in a place where I felt like my only option to give an immediate response was to spank. And I'll admit that I do sometimes question whether it could be confusing as well. But, really, they are going to have to learn their role as a child anyway. She will learn that you can tell her no but she can't tell you no. She will learn that you can send her to her room, she can't other people. And whatever form of punishment that you use, she will learn that it is your role in her life to inforce that. So while all of these things may be confusing at first (both my girls have tried to spank me and put me in time out). She will learn that there is a difference in you disciplining her and her hitting another child.

    And the advice that I would give you as a mom is to seek out people that will affirm you and build you up. If anyone is paying any attention at all to what you're doing, it is obvious that you love your daughter and have no other goal for her than for her to one day be the woman God wants her to be.

    Besides, that girl should know that somehow something worked with the discipline you were given, otherwise, she would found herself smacked. I want to smack her just thinking about it. And I will say this too.. We did ten years in youth ministry. We dreaded getting the kids of parents like that more than any of them. Know it all parents make know it all kids.